Copyright 2007 T. Sheil & A. Sheil All Rights Reserved
Back in the days when I first started working with substance abusers, a new menace had been identified. This thing was a disease. It was a new strain of virus that defeated the immune system, causing its victims to endure a slow, gradual and horrible death, At the time, it was thought that it only attacked intravenous needle addicts and male homosexuals. The disease came to be called “AIDS”, short for “Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome.” AIDS was the new bogeyman of the 1980s.
Initially, society treated AIDS as both a disease and a sign of shame. It stigmatized the disease, treating its victims as pariahs. However, the disease was not limited to needle junkies and gay men. It was spread through blood. A friend of mine had contracted the illness and went to one of the early support groups, held at a local hospital. He told me he was surprised that half of the people there were neither gay nor addicts. They had gotten it through transfusions, accidents, and other means. Nonetheless, society treated AIDS victims the way Christians treat those they call “sinners.”
For those of us working with addicts, it was frustrating. More than a few times, a person would give up the drugs, only to find that he had gotten the Virus. Many of these people made the heroic choice to stay off drugs despite having the horrid disease. For counselors like me, some of these recovering addicts were more than folks we helped. They had become friends. And one or two had been friends in the old days, before they made the choice to run with the junkies. I cannot describe to you what it is like to see friends die in stages, piece by piece. Worse, the medical folks did not know much about the disease at the time.
One of the fellows we knew in the old days was in the last stages of the disease. He complained about the “amoebas” in his head. His immune system was so damaged that it could not fight off an infection that even a weak system would handle. These amoeba attacked his brain, causing added turmoil. He was no stranger. He was someone form the old neighborhood. Amazingly, this man stayed off his addictive drugs right to the day he died. He had beaten addiction, but could not withstand AIDS.
AIDS is a troll that made a monkey out of society. While people pooh-poohed it as an affliction for junkies and gays, the stuff was getting around. By the time society took AIDS seriously, it was too late. The AIDS troll had gotten beyond control. It was spreading everywhere. The stigma did not diminish, either. The “good folks” still regarded AIDS as a moral affliction as well as a physical disease.
Ironically, the current administration, at the behest of all those “loving Christians,” penalized schools that each the Safe Sex practices which prevent AIDS. “Just say no” is what the Christians say. We know that “Just say no” has never been a solution when it comes to sex. And if a person gets the disease, these evangelical Christians gloat rather than offer compassion. They see it as “just punishment.”
This is another case where society flinched. Society forgot something. The gays and addicts were not some alien species from the dark side of Saturn. They were members of our society. They worked, lived and ate right alongside the rest of us. Most of them would not stand out in a crowd, on a train platform or in a supermarket check-out line. These victims were somebody’s brother, somebody’s son, somebody’s father or uncle. Society should have moved the moment it saw a problem, but sanctimonious bigotry held them back. It flinched long enough for the AIDS troll to get out of control.
The lesson is clear: when trouble arises, it must be faced immediately. Bias is a luxury we cannot afford, because the trouble that afflicts some could grow into the trouble that afflicts all. Perhaps if we learn this lesson, it will not be able to happen again. And perhaps if we regain some of our compassion, a nightmare can be avoided. Perhaps...
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Back in the 80s, a friend of ours used to volunteer to help AIDS patients at his local hospital.. One of the stories he told was very sad and very bizarre. One of the people with whom he worked was a young gay man. The man relied on friends and acquaintances to bring him things and offer company. His family had disowned him totally. Our friend had tried to contact the family, to see if he could convince them to offer some help. They bluntly refused.
The man finally succumbed to AIDS. His friends had already discussed how they might arrange a funeral. However the family stepped in and took over. They ignored the man’s friends. Instead, the family provided a wake and funeral. This was a big wing-ding shoot-the-moon funeral with all the trappings. One might think the dead man had been the shining star of the family rather than the pariah. Making matters worse, they forbade his friends from coming to the wake and funeral.
Now for the real kicker: this is not the only case like this. Others have told similar tales of familial compassion, or the lack thereof. It makes you wonder, doesn’t it? It really makes us wonder.....
With AIDS running rampant, sex can be deadly. Unfortunately, the Bush administration is opposed to teaching Safe Sex. The Bush response is the same as the Fundies: “Just say no!” This head-in-the-sand approach is the way the Bush Administration and the Fundies say, “Go our way or we hope you die.”
It is up to the people to learn about Safe Sex. Adults must learn, and parents must teach their children. Until there are cures for AIDS and other STDs, safe Sex is the only way to go.
